My husband has aspergers and i want to leave him


I'm torn between feeling guilty that I never supported him or showed him any understanding and also knowing that I don't want to live with it anymore. In fact, almost the minute we got the diagnosis, my resistance to labeling melted, and so did my husband’s. My husband and I have a strong suspicion that our 2 1/2 year old son has Aspergers Syndrome, and both my mom and our nanny have also had the feeling for some time now. Although I don’t want to advise my mum of what she should do, I can see the toll its taking on her and I think she really could do with a break from him too, which would leave him without anyone – none of his friends want to speak to him anymore so they call me to ask how he is. While this is aimed at parents of children, I think the advice can easily be applied to partners of adults with autism - I want an equal relationship as much as my wife does, but we I think my husband has aspergers. However One woman described her post-separation period to her Asperger’s Syndrome affected ex-husband as being “The Hotel California”. June 17, 2016 at 12:31 PM My husband and his mother both have aspergers so I know there a good chance my son (we just found out its a boy!) will have it too. The press coverage of the syndrome of the last several years has been very helpful as well. My boyfriend has asperger's and we have been living together for just about 9 months. The first time my husband didn’t buy me a gift for Mother’s Day and I expressed my dismay, he responded, “But you’re not my mother. Getting physical and being verbally abusuve are good reasons to leave. My youngest has Asperger’s and the advice at the end of your post really helps me. i am concerned … read moreJan 13, 2011 · I aplologize, i didn't mean to go directly to him or to say anything right away. My husband has AS and not one thing in this article is true of him. At that time, I knew that (my then boyfriend) had Aspergers Syndrome, and I was fine with it. I have a four year old boy (he will be five in August) that has aspergers. My husband was recently diagnosed as having Asperger syndrome, a high functioning type of autism. He talks about things we can do in the future, travels etc. A client of mine, Debbie, confessed, “I hate my husband. but Rob didn’t want to leave to be at his son’s bedside. we have a cute girl baby 13 months, and now i am in 4 months pregnancy. I also have a very high empathy level. I've contacted the pediatrician, and he said the first step was to take our son to a speech pathologist. I am trying to decide when and how to tell him. and always in the gut and mind I wanted to leave him so many times, but I Feb 12, 2018 I felt there were some things I needed to say, questions I wanted answered about us. I have encouraged couples to continue to negotiate until they arrive at an enthusiastic agreement I realise that most of my posts are analysing what Ethan is and isn't and how I'm coping with this. During a conversation his thinking is so fast in a direction that I am not headed, and he will get angry. Thanks Penelope. It’s not like he has to be fixed , which is good, because you can’t fix Asperger Syndrome. My husband left suddenly, almost a year ago after a 29 year marriage that was generally, on the surface, pretty good. Status: ResolvedAnswers: 3Should I Leave My Angry Husband? | Ask the Therapisthttps://psychcentral. My first post was an eye opener for me. It was a mixed reaction of him seeing himself in every word written and then him feeling even more hopeless than ever . Ican understand you situation,but if you leave him now, you may feel guilty later. . htmlAll those years, my husband, who has Asperger’s Syndrome, was unwilling to have intimacy and sexual intercourse. . My rule for adults would be, if the other person wonder why they fail at social relationships, or they want to change their behavior because the results they are getting make them unhappy or leave them pizzled, then I would tell them, so they direct their attention to where it will do the most good. I will feel so guilty if I leave him out here all alone. Obviously, moving in with them is not an option. For years before the seizures I would say people don't do that love. He can get upset if I have other commitments. If I didn't have a child, I would have left him a long time ago. And my aspergers husband of 25 years suits me down to the ground. Try adjusting here for you have your kids. It isn’t a moral failing that he isn’t working but it also isn’t something I would want to deal with. He too lacks empathy and doesnt know how to express his feelings, but we have learned how to work with this. And sometimes, kind of a bully. com/asperger-syndrome/topic178132. A partner who they listen to. (he is super sensitive to criticism) The other thing that has become my lifeline is to go away regularly alone or with NT friends. He loves me, but he doesn’t understand, and I think he is fed up with my attitude, and me always saying what I think, instead of what he Learn how to tell the difference. For the first time he listened to what i was saying he says he feels relief. I really really want to believe this is true. But the emotional side is a whole different story. When it comes to day-to-day living I trust that if someone is sure they are right then I am wrong. Submit more and he will want more sex. He has many, many good traits. I am a Christian and I love the Lord. My step daughter called crying about 15 days ago that she has had enough of her husband, and wanted to leave him and move in with us. I am a worker and I married a worker. , and he will quit his second job too to make sure that I don't get that income. He is in fifth grade now, he has a daily aide who helps him with school work. This is the 3rd in a 4 part series about the lessons my husband (NT) and I (aspie) have learned during the 25 years we’ve been married. Another reads, “He likes to be near those he loves, but doesn’t want them to hold him. He has the entire mindset of a narcissist, entitlement and grandiosity delusion, envy, dominance, disrespect, devaluation, egocentrism, lack of empathy. I don’t see where you get #5. I have come to realise that my husband has aspergers after 16 years of marriage. A Western woman wonders, how should I tell my Chinese boyfriend about my dark secret -- Asperger's Syndrome? (photo by Zsuzsanna Kilian) Alhana asks: I feel embarrassed asking this but since you mentioned your husband is PhD, and since he is a psychology major, I’m positive that he is familiar with Aspergers, otherwise known as high functioning autism. He didn’t understand that I couldn’t do that. V. others were so horrible for everyone we would have to leave. It also allowed me to forgive myself for the way we had been blindly stumbling around in the dark not understanding the damage we were causing to each other. My brother and sister in law were in the room right next door and the Tot was in his bed in the same room, so I brought Chunky down to my room and put Mickey Mouse on my Fire T. The Relationship between Narcissism and Codependency Michele Happe Blog By Michele Happe, MA, Certified Health Coach I am a certified health coach specializing in recovery coaching, mindfulness coaching, and health coaching. I want him to love me, I want him to kiss me, and hug me and compliment me. We are looking for a place, or ideas on how to set our son up to live independently. i too find myself on here in the hope there is something different with my husband ie adhd or aspergers. Cailleach wrote: > ladyj@charter. Hi, I am really struggling to cope with my husband who has general anxiety. Along the way to finding out his diagnosis he has accused me of being BPD/NPD. A normal woman is 47ish, a normal man is 42ish, an average aspergers person is about 20. Jun 10, 2011 · We have married for 4 years. php?t=147209Dec 30, 2010 · My Husband was open with me about having Aspergers before we were married. pouring out my love to them the entire time, or they would just leave If so, consider the possibility that your partner may want to perpetuate a dependent relationship in which leaving is intolerable. I believe in marriage and I believe that until I have done everything that I can to make it work then I can't give up. So it confuses me because he sticks around after the fight, threatens to leave me, and if I say if that’s what he wants I’ll leave, he doesn’t actually want it. Mine did. The same goes for my son with Asperger's and several other people I have met. My biggest fear is hurting my husband - I know he would devastated. And I'm a 72!!!I think your husband needs to hit bottom before he will change. com/Talk/relationships/3146068-Aspergers-HusbandYes, I’m in the married to a high functioning autistic man. Jun 16, 2011 · After visiting a marriage guidance counsellor over a year ago she informed me in one of our one-to-one sessions that she felt convinced my husband has Aspergers. I just want to take a few minutes to express my deep thanks for the work you're doing in the Autism/Asperger's community. and is very technically oriented and was successful in his field before he retired — however, many years ago he was a college professor and that career was unsuccessful for him. David Adrian Thomas hard, with my 3 year old. My husband now asks me if I want to talk after an issue. He has zero interest in any of it. Why the hell does that make you think he has Aspergers, maybe he’s just cold distant and selfish, or maybe she is who the hell knows. I have been with my husband for 6 years of marriage and 7 years together. Nicholas would probably start yelling at some point during the movie – “REWIND IT!” over and over. however, i think the main point that i want to make is that he clearly doesn't want to know about this. We don't share what other couples share- moments of spontaneous connection, reciprocal smiles, laughter, tenderness, shared joyit's a dry, businesslike arrangement for me, whereas for him it's just "life". I asked my MIL about it years ago but he is of a family that could never ever be less than perfect & he grew up always feeling that he was letting his parents down which wasn't helpful to him or to anyone else either. Talk to him …Status: ResolvedAnswers: 10Asperger's Syndrome; Hard on a Marriage - Our Life with ourlifewithaspergers. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and He knows now that if someone asks me a question, and I look My son, Nathan, has high functioning autism, otherwise known as Asperger’s syndrome. I'm not sure about the aspergersI see him with more of "Oppositional Defiant Disorder", with a dash of aspergers. I have a hunch that if you saw him do something inspiring, you would have more respect for him. I've read books and scoured the internet endlessly for health information that has helped me to help him. I have reason to suspect that my husband of 15 years has high functioning I left my community to be with him in a distant place where I knew no-one but him. It would be so much better for me to find a way to make our relationship work. I just want to honor God, but I am beginning to understand God doesn’t want me to dishonor myself or my children in the process either. ILIKECEREAL 2013-08-25 18:44:57 UTC #5 I dont know if you can get an annulment but if he's abusive its time to leave. i am doing the best i can for my kids and even quit my job My husband has funding for 6 weeks respite which gives me a break but he gets the holiday or at least two thirds of it is paid for but I feel very guilty asking him to go because he doesn't do anything wrong. I just want to leave this house and never come back. The house is a rental. If I could remove all emotional desire from myself, then I would be able to do this. He’s chosen to be non medicated, and relies on God to fill the gaps and train his focus. He did reply and say he loved me and his missed us and was physically ill and heart broken. My husband and I have a child with an autism diagnosis (Asperger’s isn’t a diagnosis any more, by the way. Eh, about once a month my husband grates on me, so I go do my own thing for a few hours and then I’m happy to see him again 🙂 Link carolann August 4, 2017, 10:17 am My husband has Asperger’s and I hope I fill this role for him. Both are on medication now and in counseling with a counselor who specializes in ADHD. Everything my son asks him gets an agressive or stressy reponse which is so difficult to live with. pouring out my love to them the entire time, or they would just leave Sep 6, 2010 Our psychologist thinks my husband has aspergers, but she hasn't . I’ve suspected for years that my husband may have Asperger’s. Knowing how social situations can really wear him down gives me a new perspective on what should be “normal. I feel like you have stepped into my life and summarized it. Once we had a structure, my husband realised I was genuinely wanting to understand, not pry into him. We've both read the Tony Attwood book on Aspergers as well as a couple autobiographies of people with Aspergers. my husband told me he has asperger 2 years before, it was fine, i tried to take care and understand. Our kids are away so it was just us two alone and we did a couple errands and came back and I went to the basement… I have Aspergers, and never married, I hate the idea of marriage and find a my partner's lifestyle interfering and it doesn't suit me, and yet she wants to be with me, she won't leave me. " And as his wife it does fall to you to be the primary person to teach him. He’ll listen if I talk to him informationally–ie, “My brother is the executor”, etc. My husband fits 80-90% of the Asperger description. Rob believed I've been married for 52 years and only a few years ago found out my husband has aspergers. Wise Advice for Wives with Asperger Syndrome Husbands. If he does Anonymous wrote:Another wife with Aspie husband here. So my topic for today is discussing Autism and in particular Asperger’s. I am ashamed of the reasons I married my husband and I made a mistake. He graduated from an Ivy League school, but his self-absorption, social awkwardness and rigid behaviours have affected our marriage with devastating emotional impact. My husband is no loyal but im not in love with him and d not feel connected to him. Last year we saw a film where the central character had Aspergers. In my case, I think my husband’s grieving has brought a significant change in him and in our relationship. I secretely dont want him to go. But when I packed our things for moving out, I found tucked away in the attic a mountain of porn magazines and some of it was a punishable offense. I know this is our chance. As my son has gotten older, I’ve noticed even more how others, females in particular, profile him, or try to profile him, how they begin, sometimes immediately, to notice that–though he is tall and handsome and fit, that his mannerisms, sense of physical space, and response to basic conversation is unusual. I feel that I should leave him before any children come into the My husband is freakishly smart, high-functioning with a well-respected job, insanely good work ethic, and has me, a woman who loves him, even when it’s difficult. But I'm so unhappy with him. ” Debbie was someone with whom I had a very strong coach-client relationship, so I really pushed to get at what was going on behind the scenes, deep within her subconscious mind. my health is a complete wreck, or I would leave, and my daughter has So have an adult conversation with him, and assure him that a. Also observe if he is socially awkward and have an all-absorbing interest in specific topics. It helped me understand why my husband did/said the things he did. I did marry for money comming from a poor family money was stability for me. "My husband has become a stranger to me, I don't even know who he is anymore. com/intimacy-and-romance-in-nt-as-relations. My husband is freakishly smart, high-functioning with a well-respected job, insanely good work ethic, and has me, a woman who loves him, even when it’s difficult. Aspies can and do know how to love. It allowed me to regain my own empathy for my husband and forgive him. But whether he has Asperger's Jul 10, 2013 · I once asked him if he was relieved that Ashley doesn't have Aspergers and he replied "That's a stupid thing to say, she doesn't have it, why would you ask that stupid question, as if you would consider your kid being any other way than the way she is" and that is a brilliant Aspergers …Jun 10, 2011 · We have married for 4 years. We recently found out that he has aspergers. A lot of the symptoms are similar to the original post regarding non-attendance at parties etc. My husband knows that I blog, that I journal, that I want him/us to get counseling. I want to divorce him but I don’t want to leave him. This blog is my way of venting and processing my thoughts and experiences of being married to an Aspergers husband and I realise that it's pretty one-sided. Asperger's Husband? (25 Posts) Add I veer from loving him to wanting to stab him. The last time this happened, people in the air force had to stay a month at base and weren't allowed to leave. I just need to give him space first. Thank you to the person who posted this question October last year & for the great advice you provided Dave Angel. It explains so much, but I don't think I can stay with him. He's honest to a fault, I can talk to him about everything, he is smart, focussed, competant, great cook, can do anything with his hands, cares about me and my daughter and our dog, is a good provider, I couldn't ask for more. Reading about psychopaths and narcissists and the way they think was a help to me. “So much of my relationship with my husband has been tainted by our lack of Mar 26, 2018 And when one partner has Asperger's syndrome, the relationship On the upside, “she can enter into play with him in ways that I “Our son's behaviors and diagnosis are what quickly led me to believe my husband also had Asperger's," in Boston, but Rob didn't want to leave to be at his son's bedside. Forum rules This is a support forum for the family, partners and friends of those with mental health issues. ” Best Answer: I like Happy's answer and disagree with Kenny's answer. I mean, we spend so much time together as it is and I still love him, . 2. Here are a few pointers for understanding your Asperger's partner compiled by me. The key is to drag out of him some acknowledgement, however partial, that he has difficulties doing X,Y, Z, and that he is prepared to cooperate to change things. The only people that he has in the world is me and my husband and three children, and our parents. If you decide to “bring him home” for awhile and want to know about any of the resources on the homeschooling side of things let me know. And when one partner has Asperger’s syndrome, the relationship can be even more of a challenge. ” Then she began . I am in the middle. My 16 year old son has many traits of Asperger’s; I have started to recognize this after my friend’s son was diagnosed recently. If you want to continue to be my husband you will respect, honor, and maintain this boundary. Dont be afraid to disagree with him, make sure your kids arent either. the neurologist said every generation is worse and i know my kids want kids but it wouldn't be fair knowing what they go through. Well after about 2 months of us being married I felt like I got hit by a fast moving train. He has no motive to understand her interior world so her complaints are bothersome to him. I get angry with my husband and My husband is used to being my care-taker and any attempts on my part to function more independently have left him confused and me extremely frustrated. ? I aplologize, i didn't mean to go directly to him or to say anything right away. I have been reading about asperger's and I think my husband has it He talks slow ina monotone voice and it takes him a long time to say what he is trying to say. Here in the past two years we found out he has Aspergers. Here’s how to work together on change. May 15Views: 308KAsperger's and Divorce - theneurotypical. According to my husband, for him it seems like taking on a bushel of trouble to no purpose. 2 years ago he tried to tell his dad that he wanted to marry me, but his dad told him that I would leave him when I found out about the aspergers. At the same time if I ask him if he’s unhappy with me I’l leave (even though I don’t want to) he wants me to stay. D. i am concerned … read moreThe people I have seen who are successfully navigating Aspergers have three things: 1. Aug 10, 2017 Hannah Bushell-Walsh's husband was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome two 'Steve is all you could ever want from a husband' “I liked him immediately,” she told the Daily Mail, praising Steve's kind and genuine nature. My dear brother is 42 years of age and has aspergers. i know he is an aspie as my boss had to admit it to us when we were reporting issues with his behavior. mumsnet. I’ve learned to cope better over the years but still have occasional Asperger melt-downs and will alienate people unintentionally. Your husband loves you, but his ADHD symptoms get in the way — causing him to ignore you, lose track of time, or wander off. My husband is freakishly smart, high-functioning with a well-respected job, insanely good work ethic, and has me, a woman who loves him, even when it’s difficult. Colleagues have met him, my parents thought so, as did the mother of a friend with classic autism. After 28 years of marriage, resignation under duress from my job which led into a nervous breakdown and the end of my marriage, I now realise after much angst and research that my husband has Asperger's with narcissistic tendencies. My husband always threatens that if I leave him, the money goes bye-bye. I'm being honest,I'm tired of all of this at age 63. Both of them are handling their symptoms better and trying to improve their relationships. For me it often feels very much like adopting a special needs child. I’ve read all Penelope’s posts on it and some things really apply to him and some things don’t. Even his mother told me to leave. If I ask him questions he may have no answer as to why he thanks that way , life for him his way is normal to him. I feel that for me to leave his father now, basically because of his Aspergers, would be devastating to my son's development. I also made my views before God so strive to make my marriage work . However, after working with vulnerable young people for over a decade, I can’t stomach putting my own son out. You have to assume authority to tell him "This is a hard boundary. There are times when I am in tears due to my husband continuing on about something that is really upsetting me. Status: ResolvedAnswers: 5Asperger's Husband?https://www. We don't have many true friends anymore as my husband falls asleep if discussion isn't stimulating enough for him. My Husband Has ADHD — and It’s Hurting Our Marriage. She said he was diagnosed in HS but his father never told him that he was an Aspi. Garrick had a regular kid type meal and then we let him have a piece of chocolate pie. angelsense. The way you described my husband, the way you described me. The same goes for my son with Asperger's and several other people I have met. We met him about a year ago and he helped my 10 year old child deal with some difficult times. however I work with a guy who has aspergers and i find him very difficult to work with. I have told him that we need marriage counseling and he has finally “Talking with my ex-husband is like smashing my head against a wall or drowning in a river. Jul 10, 2013 · I once asked him if he was relieved that Ashley doesn't have Aspergers and he replied "That's a stupid thing to say, she doesn't have it, why would you ask that stupid question, as if you would consider your kid being any other way than the way she is" and that is a brilliant Aspergers …The most important thing I have found to remember is that the things that drew me to my husband in the first place and the things I love about him have not changed with the diagnosis. com/blog/this-is-what-children-withA lot of the time he gates threatened and bullied which makes him want to hurt others. My husband has not gotten over not only the loss of his job the first time, but all of the other misdeeds that have happened to him through various bosses, father, and even the Southern Baptist, yes the Southern Baptist for all ills. I knew from the start he was different in the way he acted but there was something about the inner warmth he gave me that I fell in love with and can't seem to walk away from. We walked willingly into another world, with its own language, rituals, and worldview. And so might a lot of the > other things you described. For what it’s worth, my husband has some depression issues too, but I found that as long as I was angry, worn out and anxious, that gave him an excuse to think I was the only source of his feeling depressed. Living With a Man who has Aspergers understand what he did wrong and his only answer is “leave me then, am damaged”. Nov 26, 2018 · I have Asperger's, and my husband is NT but is a sociopath according to testing and the psychologist. He can come to be quite defensive when she asks for clarification or a little sympathy because he knows that he has good intentions so he resents the pressure. And he also thinks he sees the glass half full and that I see it as half empty. He is dying a slow death. My partner has broken my heart several times and I stopped fighting for him about a year ago. We are in our mid-30s and still haven’t decided if we want to have children. Marriage My Husband Has ADHD — and It’s Hurting Our Marriage. Positive traits such as faithfulness and reliability are bonuses and she can encourage her man by praising him for these. My husband and I, although we try so hard, often leave an argument both feeling misunderstood and frustrated. My husband (who has meltdowns and many other Aspergers behaviors) has done almost nothing to try to comfort me in my grief–no card, no flowers, no hug, no “how are you feeling”, etc. as for whether your husband has asperger's syndrome, it does appear that he has many of the typical anxious and obsessive characteristics, though nothing struck me as particularly schizoid. My husband quickly recognized that he was most certainly Aspergers and even read a couple of books by authors with Aspergers that I gave him . he doesn't seem to have a mean bone is his body, but he can be quite rude, talks over people, dismisses people when they correct him. I told him afterwards that I didn't want to end our 15 yr marriage but we need to talk. Jun 19, 2014 · My son was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome nearly five years ago. The “Living with an Aspergers Partner” ebook was very instrumental in helping my husband and myself understand each other by learning to communicate love words, to respect each other’s space, and to speak up when annoyed and not harbor anger. Asberger's Autism and Aspergers syndrome is close to my heart as I am an aspie who has been prone to meltdowns, sensory overload, bullying, sights and smell issues. I’d give myself to him only to have my heart ripped out again and again. As we left the auditorium both of us felt individually how much he reminded us of my husband. He doesn't want intervention or help for various reasons, one being that it may harm his career (he has done very well in his field). He or she may believe that is so Apr 20, 2016 On one occasion, a woman told me, “My husband has Asperger's. Jun 6, 2016 As an Aspie husband, I didn't notice that my first wife left me as she was . Oct 10, 2017 · This is partly for my son, who is 14 and also has Asperger's. I can't bring myself to leave him yet because I wonder whether I just want too much from him and in some way it's my short comings. Jul 04, 2014 · I feel that I have discussed many other topics on this blog and I feel that covering the topic of Aspergers and relationships would be beneficial to a lot of my readers so the time has come to address this area. Today, I want to share our autism story with you; from the signs leading up to his diagnosis to where we are today. But I must admit for years he thought there was nothing wrong with him and actually made me feel that I was the one with the problem. My husband has found finding out that he has Asperger’s a very reassuring experience as well. Now Ive gone back and forth between narcissism and Asperger's for him, because they are so closely related. If my husband doesn’t want to have sex with me as much as I want to with him, it is because of something that is lacking in me, in this case my lack of submission. I give 198% to his 2%, I keep topics of conversation on subjects I know he is comfortable with. I just found out that my 17 year old has Aspergers and I am trying to find out all I can about this and one of the things that I was told and what I seen on the T. Hi im new on here I was just wondering if anyone else is going through hell with there teenager ! My son is 14 he has aspergers but doesnt know he does because CAMHS thought we shouldnt tell him because of the way he thinks about people with stuff like that ! My husband has Asperger’s syndrome and was diagnosed as an adult about 10 years ago (before I met him). It doesn’t mean that I’m disinterested, selfish, cold or insensitive. Author: BeccaHusband - I don't understand : Asperger's Syndrome https://www. Confused!With the exception I do have a child with my husband and have been married for 2 years. My husband and i have been going through a lot when we were dating i had cheated on him and now when ever we get into an argument he try to bring that up to take away from what he did my husband cheated on me 2 times in our marriage he slept with another women and kissed another women on the neck while out. We have a pretty hard morning when we realize that Hadar has to go in to work. But my aunt has serious flaws too, and her and my dad have big acting like petty juveniles and her being mean to my grandmother with alzheimer’s. I once asked him if he was relieved that Ashley doesn’t have Aspergers and he replied “That’s a stupid thing to say, she doesn’t have it, why would you ask that stupid question, as if you would consider your kid being any other way than the way she is” and that is a brilliant Aspergers answer. I recently discovered that my husband has Aspergers. I know what you mean about puppy, however you were very It was my mother-in-law who is my husband’s step mother that told me that he has Asperger’s. Hello Patty, I have been married to my husband for five years and he's from another country. But something has been happening lately that I don't understand at all, and it makes me very upset. " BF Bob Franklinn. that can improve the knowledge of anything you want to learn about and especially the autism spectrum. If your husband wants a divorce but won’t leave the house, you might consider talking to a lawyer about your legal rights. He now wont let me. My husband also has Aspergers but he learned to cope with it so much better than I ever did. show Boston Legal was that any person with Aspergers can not be tried in a court or held responsible for their actions and I was just wondering if that was true or not. I made the decision to wait to discuss it with him until he was nearly nine years old, about a year after his diagnosis, and Why Women Leave Men by Willard F. Spouses/partners of people with autism really need genuine support groups, where Although she told me that she had been diagnosed with Aspergers at one Feb 12, 2018 I felt there were some things I needed to say, questions I wanted answered about us. Recently I was meeting with a therapist to talk about my son, who is 19 and struggling, and the therapist asked if I thought my husband had aspergers. It does hurt that this man took a drastic change. Hi my husband who is diagnosed Aspergers and six years my junior did exactly the same to me I'm heartbroken and am so sorry you've go e through the same I've been with him nine years and I can't move on , can't stop thinking about it and not sure if I can stayMarried To An Aspie: 25 Tips For Spouses I have been married to an aspie husband for almost 30 years. I know he gets tired of having to give me the same advice on how to handle situations dealing with other people. A study carried out in Sweden , concluded that nearly 0. Now my son hates me and I have lost any hope of ever getting him any help. com/marriage-to-a-spouse-with-aspergerThere are numerous helpful articles archived there. Without a doubt, one of the things I love about my husband’s autism the most is the high level of attention to detail and organization that it blesses him with. The tryst was above-board, meaning my husband gave me the okay beforehand to pursue any opportunity to suss out my inhibited sexuality. I've known for a long time that something was up with him but since we've been married and had a baby things have really gone down hill. I fear it will be the demise of my marriage. If your husband does not want to see a doctor, observe if he has some Acne, constipation, cough, dehydrated, dry mouth, Eyes, Feet. he has recently joined the army and has been away at boot camp. scientist are due to him having Asperger’s Syndrome. com//09/17/should-i-leave-my-angry-husbandI want children in the near future, but I don’t want them with my husband because I don’t think that we are in a stable place. Seek help though-- …May 21, 2006 · > >My husband didn't want to go so I went alone one time and the therapist > >said it sounded like my husband had severe intimacy problems. Nathan is 14 now and he was diagnosed with autism when he was 11. On my post from the other night I was bringing up one of his symptoms that he wonders about, and someone asked what other symptoms he has. At the begining things was great he was affectionate and lovable and he was the one that started everything. He is emotionally disconnected and when angry, which is every day, breaks things, destroys things, is quite cruel, threatens to kill me and my kids as well as himself. If it were me (and I divorced my ADD husband, so take this for what it's worth), I'd take the kids and move back in with your parents WITHOUT him. my husband has aspergers and i want to leave him Children with Asperger’s Syndrome he forgives and loves more than most in this world because of his aspergers. My H and I have been married for quite some time. So, it's entirely down to decisions that you must both make together. “I was working on a highly technical I suspect my husband has Asperger's too, but he gets through life. My husband spends long periods of time away from home with his job and I am never sure how he will be when he returns . My Asperger husband IS very loving, kind, and can be understanding once it things have been better explained to him. she sees all the dysfunction. My husband has Aspergers and it took us sometime to diagnose. To be honest, sometimes, I forget altogether. Often, they fully expect for him to leave and they are extremely confused when he doesn’t. He probably has his day planned for him (by him) and if, say, at 6:55, you wanted to have a talk with him (even if it's something you need him to listen), you are going to throw off his entire "mental" routine. I want to be with someone that contributes and builds something. A husband with Asperger’s syndrome often has a specific area of weakness in marriage and open communication about this can benefit both partners Apr 18, 2018 · This version of How to Deal With an Autistic Boyfriend was expert co-authored by "I got some interesting tips on how to just talk to my husband. We have been through a tremendous amount of turmoil. HELP | Wrong Planet Autism wrongplanet. That said, I'm so appreciative to have comments from people who probably have more insight into Ethan than I do and who can inform and educate me. Hi - I am married to a newly diagnosed Asperger's spouse, including 3 young newly diagnosed aspie children. Please God, Help me!!!!! My husband is the sourest person you've ever seen. Everytime he tried to leave I never let him, telling him we would work things out. My husband tells me to be quiet in public and I am quiet. He was very rebellious as a child and lost his father (after his parents divorced) when he was nine. He has serious difficulty interacting with our daughter, and goes through bouts of depression that leave him like a husk of a person, and our daughter is starting to react. I feel like I am a good person but that no one except a few new friends whom I know through my husband’s efforts, feel that way. I agreed thinking it would be for a few days or weeks, but now looks to be for an undetermined amount of time. The stress from this is overwhelming me and I want to run away and hide. My husband has much less patience than me and gets really angry with him at times. Status: ResolvedAnswers: 3Marriage to a Spouse with Asperger Syndromehttps://www. Some of you may be familiar with it. My husband doesn't believe and has aspergers. The only thing that has changed has been the day-to-day dynamics. The thing is that I want my son to have the chance to have a wonderful marriage and I don’t want people to assume that because he has aspergers he is going to be abusive. Something clicked. My Aspie husband has 99th percentile aggression and adjustment disorders according to …My husband is freakishly smart, high-functioning with a well-respected job, insanely good work ethic, and has me, a woman who loves him, even when it’s difficult. He's honest to a fault, I can talk to him about everything, he is smart, focussed, competant, great cook, can do anything with his hands, cares about me and my daughter and our dog, is a good provider, I couldn't ask for more. I want him to put me first, but he can’t and he won’t. If so, consider the possibility that your partner may want to perpetuate a dependent relationship in which leaving is intolerable. Thanks for the validation, I’m a NT in the marriage, dealing with both my child like husband and my manipulating father in law, who both have Asperger. He is generally nice and quiet; I used to be fun & outgoing. Tell your parents I refuse to marry someone i dont like and will not sign anything- ie a marriage contract unless I am happy with my husband. My husband has a little of this same thingso they have a lot of trouble communicating. My son has autism and I can not even leave my house with him and I have little help. I’ve never been 100% sure but I love your description that something just seems “off”. I also find it hard to socialise and have high anxiety. My husband and myself don't drink and won't be forced into doing something we don't want to do. Thanks for your comments. How To Spot Asperger's In Adults | Aspergers Husband Symptoms | Aspergers In Older Males How To Spot Asperger's In Adults | Aspergers Husband Symptoms | Aspergers In Older Males I have been with my husband 10 years and have just realized he may have aspergers. My husband also has a mental disorder (post-traumatic stress disorder) and him and my son don't click when my son has his meltdowns and of course my step son doesn't understand or won't understand why i have to deal with my son in such a different way and it just makes for alot of stress and it puts all the weight on my shoulders, I really don I think that my husband has Aspergers like our eldest son. I enjoy being a babygirl than a mommy. Maybe he has an abnormally low sex drive; or maybe it’s some other relationship or psychological issue. (4) My husband shouldn't ask me if I want …My son is almost 24, and he is very difficult to live with. My sweet sweet man has had a major change and gets angry at me for trying to help him, Then, he will turn around and want a kiss. htmlOne woman described her post-separation period to her Asperger’s Syndrome affected ex-husband as being “The Hotel California”. The other guy is still on my mind; I miss him and care about him and even if he’s always just a friend I want him in my life. But whether he has Asperger's Dealing With An Aspergers Husband: Tips For Married Couples My husband has aspergers and we've been married for two years, and i love him dearly but he has been complaining of extreme symptoms, confusion, and a feeling of being lost. Both my husband and myself are not keen on parties. “M y husband has Asperger’s Syndrome. 1. Sit down, give the “poor me I have no money to leave my husband” a rest, and put your brains to work. Avoid his temper and arguements. My husband has been labeled ADD, but we also now believe he has Aspergers(although never officially diagnosed). I am more hesitant than him. My son is almost 24, and he is very difficult to live with. When my husband yells at me, I usually leave the house for a few hours just to relieve the anxiety I feel from him yelling. Taylor: My husband keeps a small notebook on him, so he can write down important things and tasks, so if he does lose focus, he has a reference. That being said, there were abusive elements at work in my marriage. aspergerpartner. When you marry someone and live with them it changed things too-I went through the exact same thing, I am 100% certain my husband has aspergers. I (and plenty of other as well, I'm sure) see you as a friendly voice offering constant encouragement to people like myself who lived so many years (decades, even) with far more criticism than encouragement. You could always make an excuse and not go. Although she gets very, very angry, is over-sensitive to any sort of criticism and gets very anxious. D. My heart was broken. I know it's awful to leave someone because they suffer from a condition but I can't help the way I feel. He has ALL the symptoms and I don't know if I can stay in the marriage. I was looking forward to having children and starting a family with him two years ago. My friends told me I’ll be heartless if I leave, but that’s honestly what I want to do. I was seriously persuing divorce until I realized this. ask him to decide on one achievable thing to “work on,” and a rough timeframe. in a situation that would stress him. Learning to Leave: A Women’s Guide by Lynette Triere and Richard Peacock is the first book you should read if you want to know how to leave your husband. It’s not like he has to be fixed, which is good, because you can’t fix Asperger Syndrome. Truth be told, my husband does, too! I want to ask him to leave if he is so unhappy and despises me so much. theneurotypical. You should get out of your situation now, before you invest too many years like I have done. He has never had any friends or a girlfriend. Which is why I put up with more than someone else would. “So much of my relationship with my husband has been tainted by our lack of Mar 26, 2018 And when one partner has Asperger's syndrome, the relationship On the upside, “she can enter into play with him in ways that I “Our son's behaviors and diagnosis are what quickly led me to believe my husband also had Asperger's," in Boston, but Rob didn't want to leave to be at his son's bedside. If you’re thinking about leaving your husband, you need to learn as much about separation and divorce as possible. Jul 06, 2010 · I have been reading about asperger's and I think my husband has it He talks slow ina monotone voice and it takes him a long time to say what he is trying to say. Thousands of people worldwide, just like you, have used these unique strategies to put themselves on the “relationship-rescue” fast-track, while regaining their inner happiness in I want him to talk to me about us and about feelings and about stuff that I think everyone else is talking about except us. He knew I liked women long before I did. And now I am lucky if I get sexual relationship with him maybe every 2 weeks. There are so many things I’d like to help him with but I can’t do it all; probably shouldn’t do it all as it’s his life to figure out. My husband has Aspergers Syndrom. Spouses/partners of people with autism really need genuine support groups, where Although she told me that she had been diagnosed with Aspergers at one Sep 6, 2010 Our psychologist thinks my husband has aspergers, but she hasn't . A place, she said, where you could check out, but you could never leave. You are his wife. My husband had issues with the singing thing for a while but as a result of my behavior on cannabis, we have gotten past that issue and a lot of things, including his hang up about cannabis itself. He is starting to realize that he is different from other people. We do love each other and don't plan to end the marriage. I'm worried about being alone and being able to really handle breaking up with him. If you know me, you may be aware my Husband Dan has Asperger’s. Misery is everywhere in the world. blogspot. As for #s 1-4, you say them like it means she has no right to object to how that’s playing out now. htmlNov 26, 2018 · I have Asperger's, and my husband is NT but is a sociopath according to testing and the psychologist. We have 3 children that we love which we suspect two to be asperger. I know he has asperger’s too. Recognize that aspies need plenty of alone time Being alone is how people with Asperger’s regroup. “M y husband has Aspergers (I did not know when I married him). I do not want to make him feel bad, but I do not want him to wonder why he is …Apr 03, 2015 · Thank u I never thought to get him an assesment done I will ask for that to be done as I think he would benefit a lot he had so much go on I just want him to get back on track or lest help him thank you (my mind defo needed some help to help him)I can't go on anymore. My son is autistic as well as my dad, he is definitely an "overfeeler" who withdraws socially from a world that has too many expectations of him. And I take my commitments seriously. Chances are much like my boyfriend your husband doesn't even realise what he's saying could hurt your feelings and our you down. I have mild aspergers and know it is possible to be made Absolutely miserable and unbearable by someone who believes they are doing there utmost to be friendly/helpful etc. my health is a complete wreck, or I would leave, and my daughter has Jun 13, 2009 · My boyfriend has Asperger's syndrome and of course i love him he isn't very empathetic and I understand that it's part of the disorder just like you do. A good friend offered to look after my son tomorrow morning while I go to the nearest big town and queue at citizens advice but now my son's cough has become much worse and I will have to try to get him a doctor's appointment tomorrow and the only time my friend can look after my son is Monday morning. ( apparently we don’t use aspergers herein the UK any more) My husband can be lovely and the slightest thing can trip him into a mini meltdown. but honestly I don`t want your help leave me alone. ” The next year and the year after that, he continued to ignore the venerated holiday as I grew increasingly resentful. I would certainly not say he is sick or has problems. my heart breaks for my boy because he has asked me before if he has aspergers or autism I never know what to say once when he was 8 I said yes I bought books for his age to learn about it and his dad flipped on me… You are the one who is going to be with him, so you need to get over pleasing other people and just tell the poor guy that you wasted a year of his life and that you dont want to be with him. I thought to myself, why go to him, subconsciously expecting nothing from him. I've thought over and over again that I should leave him and I think I would have if he wouldn't have gotten this aspergers diagnosis a couple of months ago. The other way of looking at those factors is he’s a introvert who loves gaming, and she loved him that way, enough to marry him and want to make a family with him. But I am scared of losing him and I do love The most important thing I have found to remember is that the things that drew me to my husband in the first place and the things I love about him have not changed with the diagnosis. Autism has ruined my life and I don't want to deal with it anymore!!! My husband is aspergers and so is my son. Parkinson, dementia and the whole thing is horrible. 🙂 Homeschooling has been a joyful journey for my family for over 15 years – as well as doing part school/part home. and maybe ask factual questions. my husband has aspergers and i want to leave himIf so, consider the possibility that your partner may want to perpetuate a dependent relationship in which leaving is intolerable. My husband is four year my junior and he has an extramarital affair which I found out after a year. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and He knows now that if someone asks me a question, and I look directly at him and make eye contact, its me asking him to answer the question for me. My husband is a 10. com/aspergers_and_divorce. I truly love my husband and do NOT want a divorce! He even sickly turned my oldest son against me and he helped my husband with his abuse, his destruction of me via the legal system, and w/ my husband's set up to get me to slap him, while having my son use my husband's cell to tape it! My husband, Garrick, and I ate dinner at Perkins to celebrate a good week at school. Family and relational experiences, resources, survival tips, encouragement, and hope are offered there. I know my husband has pain and shame around this, that breaks my heart for him. Author: BeccaMy Husband has Aspergers. Reading your example interactions for the Aspies truly made me laugh out loud because it was all too familiar. So he applied to become a trainee for the ATC. I just want to spare my children the same pain. And even still, I want to “take care of him” and everyone feels like it’s my job. He has not been diagnosed as Aspie but I am almost certain that my husband has aspergers as I can relate to what people have written on this site. (8 replies)Oct 29, 2018 · My husband has to leave for work training (for a few months) in another stateand i dont want him to go. The situation between my son and my husband, and my son and myself is very exhausting and it is affecting my husband and my health and our marriage, and the younger brother. I told him i have looked and looked for the reasons as to why it has only seemed to go wrong, how much i love him and dont want to nag him. When I retreat to my home office and close the door, it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the company of my family. One of the things I’ve heard many autism parents talk about is the struggle to get services for their child. Various feedback is best, and going to people who you think has aspergers sometimes makes them angry and upset, and they sometimes go into denial. My husband comes from a mother who has been through two divorces. I don’t know where to start because the more I read about Asperger, the more I think I have married one. My six year old son has just been diagnosed, and it looks like our two year old son is heading that way too, not talking yet and fierce tantrums, just like his brother. To set my thoughts and feelings down in black and white was a process that was scary, enlightening, thought provoking, confusing, amusing, and downright fun. Dec 22, 2007 · My husband has a sales job so his weekends are different than mine. Living with an Aspergers Partner is the most practical, easy-to-follow and comprehensive program available today for partners affected by the Aspergers condition. He has no motive to understand her interior world so her complaints are bothersome to him. He has to want to deal with this, but he's probably terrified that you'll leave him so is backing away from dealing with it at all. I believe he prefers an "arrangement" to a deep relationship. I'm fairly convinced that my husband has Aspergers. I was born and raised in France and have been living in Texas for 7 years with my husband and two children. My husband finally died after 36 years of marriage, and I was able to find a loving, responsive man, but my daughter has been rough with me over the years, like my husband was to me. I hope to raise autism awareness and want readers of my blog to better understand the many facets of autism. But, he dishes out abuse and neglect in his avoidance of reality and that breaks my heart for me. In my free time I like photography, writing, and styling outfits for my two boys. I am a Chinese and My husband is Finnish. He proved his love for me for years and although I felt the same as him, I never showed it as much because I was scared that it was too good to be true. I want to be more supportive but when my husband allows him to destroy everything and has no consequences for the behavior i lose my mind. My husband has Aspergers, too. He decided to up and leave his job, leaving our family unsupported. My husband quickly recognized that he was most certainly Aspergers and even read a couple of books by authors with Aspergers that I gave him . Has trouble in crowds, all the noise can at times be just to much. I have decided, after much research and reading seven books in the past two weeks, that the problems in my 32-year marriage to a fellow Ph. I have discussed getting him evaluated with my husband, but he feels that a diagnosis of autism-spectrum (they don’t even call it Asperger’s anymore apparently My daughter has been married for 3 years to a very intelligent man, but after reading the descriptions & symptoms of Asperger's, she feels 99% sure her husband has Asperger's & she can't go on living … Customer: If I say I will leave his reaction can be oh right then, he doesn,t take it seriously at all,he thinks I presume he is the model husband he does help financially, but other than that if i say things are not really working he really doesn,t seem too worried, his last wife stopped talking to him and it was all her fault apparently,I now wonder how life was for her It takes a lot of work to make a marriage or other long-term relationship a success. My Husband was open with me about having Aspergers before we were married. (3) My husband shouldn't ask me for my spare change, and he should understand no woman wants to deal with such a request, even though I understand some women are willing give up all their evenings to provide grandchild care when asked. Hi, I have been with my husband for 12 years now and it has been nothing but hard. Ever since we moved in we have been fighting. I think my husband has Aspergers. Thanks to his dedicated work, she is now doing very well. Feb 13, 2012 · I would like to know if it is sin to leave your husband,who has asperger ,and wants nothing to do with making this marriage work. The psychologist evaluated my husband and told us he is a "classic transvestite", meaning he is heterosexual but has a fetish for womens clothing. Spouses/partners of people with autism really need genuine support groups, where Although she told me that she had been diagnosed with Aspergers at one Feb 12, 2018 I felt there were some things I needed to say, questions I wanted answered about us. I can't bring myself to leave him yet because I wonder whether I just want too much from him and in some way it's my short comings. my husband and i are now seperated and he want to have overnight access with our son. He is emotionally distant nd still has mental issues to address. My gifted son has plenty of friends his own age, some a couple years older. With the exception I do have a child with my husband and have been married for 2 years. I don't know if it's physical (with a demonic cause or a family curse?) or demonic. My 3 yo asd has …He also has this problem at times with other authority figures, such as teachers, which bothers me more. ” The book is a gentle, adorable and insightful introduction into the disorder, perfect for kids learning how they are different, or for siblings trying to better understand a brother or sister. The whole world revolves around HIM…he is only interested in things that affect him and thats it…yes he would kill me or kill us all if i left him. and always in the gut and mind I wanted to leave him so many times, but I Dec 15, 2009 I have suspected my husband of 40 years has Asperger's for the last year. And, as a result, it has led me to learn about better health overall. This blog is my way of venting and processing my thoughts and experiences of being married to an Aspergers husband and I realise that it's pretty one-sided. V. Nov 14, 2017 · How To Spot Asperger's In Adults | Aspergers Husband Symptoms | Aspergers In Older Males How To Spot Asperger's In Adults | Aspergers Husband Symptoms | Aspergers In Older MalesAuthor: How ToViews: 7KThis Is What Children with Asperger’s Syndrome Wish You https://www. com/2011/05/aspergers-syndrome-hardMay 24, 2011 · My Asperger husband IS very loving, kind, and can be understanding once it things have been better explained to him. I Blamed Autism for My Divorce By findingcoopersvoice / March 7, My husband expected me to get over Autism. I thought ex had Autism as other of his family members do however I have been with a man going on 5 years that I believe to have Aspergers. my husband is a narc and left him because of it. It was a revelation. When our son was diagnosed, both my husband and I realized that he (my DH) surely also has Aspergers. He has all the classic traits. I live in Rock Hill and the law says we have to live separately for a year to get divorced. I have tried taking it up with my ex but she has washed her hands off saying that she isn’t going to ask him to, and in any case it’s between him and me and she doesn’t want to get involved, although I do believe she has quite a bit of influence over him. Create a plan to leave your marriage – it’ll make asking for financial help easier. The thought of another possible 25 years like this, plodding, plodding, along, fills me with dread. We do love each other and don’t plan to end the marriage. After 28 years of marriage, resignation under duress from my job which led into a nervous breakdown and the end of my marriage, I now realise after much angst and research that my husband has Asperger's with narcissistic tendencies. I want a husband to talk not talk at me. I think my husband has Asperger's syndrome (my daughter has just been diagnosed). I didn't leave him, we've been married for 13 years now. Talk to him …Status: ResolvedAnswers: 10Intimacy and Romance in NT-AS relations | Asperger Partnerwww. We went the step to get him formally assessed and it came out a very strong YES! It made sense to him and helped us enormously in our marriage because I understood where he was coming from. but now i cannt. My husband has said he’d love to take Nicholas to the theater to see the new movie Monster’s University but there’s just one problem. I sensed he was a bit perculiar even when I first met him. My husband of eight years has finally admitted that he has aspergers. show Boston Legal was that any person with Aspergers can not be tried in a court or held responsible for …I should mention that my husband has a Ph. He Is so argumentative all the time and he can't see it. It was actually a turning point in my life. on, only to have it say I was low on band width and couldn’t play the show right after I got him quieted down on my pillow! This is basically just a rant/vent. I would keep my eyes open. verywellhealth. That’s a hard one. I did a little research on it and I wasn't too concerned because he didn't really show any of the symptoms. That explains alot of our issues since it I don't need counselling - I want my husband to have advice from a therapist as when I bring things up of course he sees it as criticism instead of advice. I think my husband has Aspergers. Dealing With An Aspergers Husband: Tips For Married Couples My husband has aspergers and we've been married for two years, and i love him dearly but he has been complaining of extreme symptoms, confusion, and a feeling of being lost. There are some advantages and disadvantages to being with someone who has aspergers but you must judge each situation individually. It has taken me several years to rid my ex from my brain. I feel so deflated. I want to make our marriage work, but so much has happened over the many years in such an insidious manner I no longer feel like I can love him and myself much of the time anymore. I have told him that we need marriage counseling and he has finally “Talking with my ex-husband is like smashing my head against a wall or drowning in a river. My son also has adhd and Aspergers and has to go to his assessment next week at a assessment centre even though I requested preferably a home visit can u give me some advise or tell me some of the questions they may ask so I can prepare my son in advance and this is already giving him great anxiety, And before we get going, I want to assure you that usually the reasons your husband doesn’t want sex have nothing to do with you–and much to do with him. Aug 10, 2017 Hannah Bushell-Walsh's husband was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome two 'Steve is all you could ever want from a husband' “I liked him immediately,” she told the Daily Mail, praising Steve's kind and genuine nature. In fact, Facebook knew I liked women long before I figured it out, judging by the incredible number of panty and bra ads I’ve seen. I can tell that how his parents talk to him and treat him, isn't helping. ” Something that has really helped him is knowing the rules of etiquette and having a strict rule against talking about personal issues. I do not want to make him feel bad, but I do not want him to wonder why he is …I think your husband needs to hit bottom before he will change. " I want couples to learn how to come to agreements that take both of their interests into account at once. They may believe Daddy is a good man, yet Mommy seems to want to do everything. you don’t blame him, and b. I can tell that how his parents talk to him and treat him, isn't helping. My husband was reacently diagnosed with Aspergers. In the past, I have given him the silent treatment but have worked hard on not returning to that behavior. We ended up attending the same college. He has autism but I still love him and I want to help him. He was having an affair, long distance which still continues. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost five years-our anniversary is …My husband is freakishly smart, high-functioning with a well-respected job, insanely good work ethic, and has me, a woman who loves him, even when it’s difficult. I was at the leaving point. And even though I have my own struggles, I try to support him as much as possible and try to look at him as a normal person- as my boyfriend- and not as somebody who suffers from aspergers. Figuring out how to better help my son has helped me to better help my entire family. I think he really can't comprehend my emotional complexities in much the way a person who has been blind all their life has trouble understanding “green”. I heard from a wife who said: “I know for a fact that my husband is having an affair. My son has ASD because God said this world needed Shortly after our youngest child was diagnosed, 10 years ago, my husband realised that he has Aspergers too. It seems like he was a very lost young man. My husband just stays away from me. He came to my studio and a few weeks later we had an affair. However, since I went broke during my depression (I spent all of my savings on our home life once I quit my job), I have …Hi, I have been with my husband for 12 years now and it has been nothing but hard. > > Well, having intimacy problems might be part of his having Asperger's > Syndrome, especially if he isn't diagnosed. my husband do have a drinking problem becaus everynight he goes out to a tavern for drunk and i dont know what els ,i gave birth recenrly to our second son and he still never change one bit not for us or neither for our children,i love my husband so much and i want a much beter life with him but it looks like without drinking he cant have a My husband is two years older than I am, and we began dating while I was a senior in high school. net/forums/viewtopic. Two months later, my husband has tried to change but my feelings and lack of passion for him have not. It's scored from 1-80. And only then after insisting that he be tested. He spends all day outside and you cannot help, but wonder negatively. Being alone is how people with Asperger’s regroup. He won't hit bottom as long as he has you around to lean on/blame. We have 2 big communication problems. I want to try to understand his perspective but I don't want to make excuses for him. In preparation for her birth and afterwards, my husband has taken a paternity leave so he can be at home with us until the baby is 9 months old. At times his thinking is very rigid and concrete. Aug 27, 2015 · My husband has funding for 6 weeks respite which gives me a break but he gets the holiday or at least two thirds of it is paid for but I feel very guilty asking him …The lesson here is to tell him what you want. Our intention is that my husband will find employment here so he can stay home with normal hours after the leave. With my husband, I have to admit the autism effects our marriage. I did a little research on it and I wasn't too concerned because he didn't really show any of the symptoms. psychforums. i fear that my kids will have problems. A little over three years ago I began blogging about my marriage to a (mostly) wonderful man who has Aspergers Syndrome. He has You don’t need a marriage quiz or relationship test to find out if your husband still loves you. He's very quite and closed. My husband has Asperger's, so I was concerned that my son would as well. I hope he one day meets someone who doesn't regard him as a conundrum or a problem to solve, but someone who gets him and loves him for the good kind person he really is. Pazi November 10, 2009 8:22 am (Pacific time) My neurotypical, lesbian partner finds this article bizarrely out of touch with the reality of ASD/neurotypical relationships, and I'm inclined to agree with her. But im going to miss him like crazy. My older kids most likely also Aspergers. Thanks Penelope. My stepson also has friends his own age, but there is no question of him being an aspie. I can't go with him. threatens me, intimidates me…is emotionally disconnected from the kids and has no empathy for anyone. He just wants to leave it asap. I found out from his phone but I have also driven by the other woman’s house and have seen his car. Consequently he doesn’t believe anything is wrong on his part and as far as I know he has never bothered to look into what Asperger…A woman may find life with an Asperger syndrome husband frustrating, but there are ways she can help her partner to function better. Hi everyone, I apologize in advance for the length of this post. ‘Neither Joe nor I would want to take drugs or treatments to change the fact we have Asperger’s, even if they My fear is that I dislike my husband because I blame him for all of this. He or she may believe that is so Apr 20, 2016 On one occasion, a woman told me, “My husband has Asperger's. My husband has been wanting me to baby and diaper him but I am more of a babygirl than a mommy. Now he has once again gone into his shutdown mode and ignores my text and email stating how much I love him. Im an artist and sometimes I paint potraits of humans, and my husband hired a nude model for me. I now have had enough and want to leave him, I want to re-evaluate what I want from life and be independant, we are very dependent on one another. I have learnt now, but it took me awhile, to wait for my son (and husband), to be coming down from their peak, before trying to talk to them, as before then, they are too angry and upset. We have been together for four years and he has hurt me a few times with arguments, things he says in anger and how he has acted towards me in the past. I asked my husband if he wanted me to make a separate post listing all of his symptoms to get some input from you guys and he said he did. pouring out my love to them the entire time, or they would just leave Sep 6, 2010 Our psychologist thinks my husband has aspergers, but she hasn't . A close friend was telling me her son was recently diagnosed and a immediately recognized the same symptoms in my 53 year old husband. And my father treating me like a overgrown child, object because of my aspergers syndrome, and my aunt in Florida, seeing me as a human being with value and potential. Jun 6, 2016 As an Aspie husband, I didn't notice that my first wife left me as she was . Sometimes he apologizes after getting upset, and other times he does not. i love my kids and i am trying to cope with them. Try being silly back, maybe give him a silly nick-name and let him know when he is winding you up. This forum is intended to be a safe place to discuss information, give and receive support and learn about all the issues related to being involved with a person with a disorder. Harley, Jr. Having the diagnosis has given him new energy for the project. She has learned to love the fact she and her husband are just a little different. My friend tells me to get my kid out of a certain class and I take him out. He has been diagnosed with adhd and aspergers. I’m going anon on this one because I don’t want to hurt feelings. My son is diagnosed with aspergers and he has taught me to not take words so seriously because sometimes some people just like being silly with words. I have reason to suspect that my husband of 15 years has high functioning I left my community to be with him in a distant place where I knew no-one but him. He expected me to cry my tears, dust myself off, and keep living. So sometimes I think he is AS and sometimes I think he isn’t. My Aspie husband has 99th percentile aggression and adjustment disorders according to …i am married to a man who has been diagnosed with aspergers and a son who we suspect has aspergers. “M y husband has aspergers and has no social skills, no parenting skills…. When I learned he had Asperger’s, I “Googled” it, and what I read/drew from that was “highly intelligent,” focused, and skilled in his chosen field of employment. There is also an e-mail subscription list for individuals with high functioning autism, and those who have a parent, spouse, or child with autism. It makes eating at restaurants Sooo much easier when the server can't hear me, or I feel bad for having a special order. Here are the most common signs a marriage is over, plus encouragement for the journey you and your husband are on. and always in the gut and mind I wanted to leave him so many times, but I Dec 15, 2009 I have suspected my husband of 40 years has Asperger's for the last year. Jul 20, 2006 · The bottom line is, I know I want to leave. my husband also has Aspergers. I work on my weekends and get the laundry and other house chores out of the way and then silently expect the same to happen over his weekend!. 7% of the children studied had symptoms suggestive of AS to some degree. But too many times in my marriage I would give my husband sex only to have him turn around and go get drunk or high ( he has drug and alcohol issues) or do something he knows would make me upset a couple days after. I communicated with my husband that I slept with the model so why is he trying to leave me, when communication in a relationship is the key to I went through horrible trauma growing up because My dad was absent more often than not and my mom used me as her counselor, therapist and mental Punching bag because of her issues with him. It has nothing to do with how much I love my husband. I have tried to google Aspergers but still don't know that much about the disease. All those years, my husband, who has Asperger’s Syndrome, was unwilling to have intimacy and sexual intercourse. I have seen these blogs on the internet where women are like my husband seems cold distant and selfish you think he has Aspergers. I confronted him and he just shut himself out. After he was diagnosed my husband and I think that he, my husband, is touched with a bit of it also. We have him in speech therapy It gave me a structure from which to ask questions and gain insight into ASD. Through my own research, and now consultation with a Master's level psychologist, I am convinced, after almost 5 years of excruciating loneliness, isolation, depression, and heartache, that my husband has Asperger's. It wasn't until a year after the divorce, when I first heard of Asperger's in trying to find out what was going on with my oldest son, that I realized that this was what my ex husband has. Jun 13, 2009 · My boyfriend has Asperger's syndrome and of course i love him he isn't very empathetic and I understand that it's part of the disorder just like you do. Listing is an attribute of aspys. My husband has Asperger's and my son is on the spectrum, extremely high functioning. And my aspergers husband of 25 years suits me down to the ground. From the beginning, George makes you feel comfortable and he really understands. I don't want to leave my husband, I just want to get this kid raised and out of my house, but I don't want to look back in hindsight and wish I left before it was too late. I'm painfully aware that I don't understand him (or seek to understand him) enough. the hardest is my 12yo but he has aspergers, odd, adhd and bipolar. Still working on that part!!!!! This is a fun post to read because it describes me to a T. we get into a lot of arguments and My mother was born with one hand, my grandmother had polio, my cousin has moderate cerebral palsy, my father is mentally ill, my husbands brother has severe Cerebral Palsy and my child has ASD. The psychologist told him if he tries to stop he will be stessed and be miserable. We got into an argument the other day over money (which we never fight over) and he hung up on me and is refusing to talk to me for days now. because I do love him and I feel like we're perfect for eachother. May 24, 2011 · My Asperger husband IS very loving, kind, and can be understanding once it things have been better explained to him. I also want to leave and I’m stronger, but guilt and him …I’ve been with my husband for eight years and we have been married for three. The death of our children. I just found out that my 17 year old has Aspergers and I am trying to find out all I can about this and one of the things that I was told and what I seen on the T. , Ph. We moved there for my kids to be in a nice neighborhood and stay in their same schools. I replied and told him that noticing the posts of my friend and lover was not stalking and that was a gross over reaction and that all I wanted that night was a hug, just a hug for ten minutes, I then removed him as a friend from facebook and told him that I did not want to cause him any anxiety so had done it, as it appeared that is what he From the beginning of our relationship things have always been different and let's say harder and last night I watched an episode of the undateables and i was stunned at one of the guys who had aspergers he reminded me so much of my boyfriend so I looked into it and he has all the traits. My husband's counselor had us take the empathy quotient test. I was at work and asked a good friend of mine to come over, and she said I should leave work and go home to be with my husband. surely you must realise that he doesn't want you anymore. I had him re-evaluated both by school and a private psychologist who diagnosed him as having Aspergers/high functioning autism. And tell him that his doctor/therapist/teacher is an expert at Aspergers and so if he feels like something is particularly difficult for him, he can ask for help. Just my opinion I am so tired of this KKK sh*t and I want to say Kris Humphries has Aspergers Syndrome LEAVE HIM ALONE :smile: Asperger I feel that I have discussed many other topics on this blog and I feel that covering the topic of Aspergers and relationships would be beneficial to a lot of my readers so the time has come to address this area. It's been two years now and I've been pregnant in that time and have a almost 3 year old. We had the most incredible, amazing relationship. My husband and I have been married 3yrs and are in our mid 30’s. This won't sound like that though I just have a tender heart and that makes it easy to run over me. but I don't want to do them with him. I have also taken on board suggestions that have been made over the years by my long-suffering but very lucky husband (even though I am not sure that’s how he would describe himself exactly). It gave me a structure from which to ask questions and gain insight into ASD. (Except my husband who reminds me it is not my job to put my brother in front of me and my life or my kids. So here’s an disclaimer that my posts may be short at times, but I want to at least give it a go. It has given me the guidance I have been searching for. Update 2: Sorry for the typos I'm crying while typing. year old boy who was “Our son’s behaviors and diagnosis are what quickly led me to believe my husband also had Asperger’s," she says. He has been sharing his heart with me, I can’t imagine how difficult it has been for him all these years, growing up, the rejection, feeling odd, blaming himself as a bad person, blaming us as parents, very angry about why he was the way he was, and no one knowing what was wrong with him, wondering why God didn’t heal him. Borderline in my case definitely was demonic and a result of a family curse. Whereas Autism has traditionally been thought to occur in about 4 out of every 10,000 children, estimates of Asperger Syndrome have ranged as high as 20-25 per 10,000. I have seen these blogs on the internet where women are like my husband seems cold distant and selfish you think he has Aspergers. A husband with Asperger’s syndrome often has a specific area of weakness in marriage and open communication about this can benefit both partners. He has all the signs. My son with Aspergers doesn’t want to go school and just wants to play computer games Filed under: Aspergers Education — posted by admin on April 7, 2009 @ 11:24 am Hello and welcome to this week’s Aspergers article, but before I get started I owe you a quick apology. This is one of those things that people want to think they have or their children have to make themselves feel better i am married to a man who has been diagnosed with aspergers and a son who we suspect has aspergers. ) The guilt is always there. Reader’s Question. I have always been a very happy person, but it is very hard to live in an Asperger home where the people act nothing like the neurotypicals I grew up with. It’s not fair, we wish things were different, and it’s not easy to make such a big life change. He also has this problem at times with other authority figures, such as teachers, which bothers me more. comwww. Both my husband and 10 year old son have been diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's within the last few months. you don’t want him to push himself beyond his capabilities, you just want him to work on expanding those capabilities, and c. Time and time again I have told him how unhappy I am because he don't know how to show affection, intimacy, or emotions. I know he tries his best to provide for the family of 5 (3 kids), but I am emotionally & physically exhausted after 15 years. It is exhuasting being around him sometimes. PS – My ex-husband (74) has, I believe, Aspergers Syndrome, difficult to live with, and my middle daughter (36) seems to have it, too. Reader’s Question. I took an asperger’s quiz and answered as I thought my husband would answer and I scored “most likely has aspergers. Aug 25, 2013 · It is one thing to have a bad spouse with Aspergers, but it is another thing to paint you husband’s actions a “typical” Aspergers behavior. He has developed this habit that I'm not a fan of and I …Without a doubt, one of the things I love about my husband’s autism the most is the high level of attention to detail and organization that it blesses him with. My husband most likely has Aspergers, though he is not diagnosed. My husband doesn’t see to understand where I am coming from and thinks I should understand because he has Aspergers and it is not his fault. I'm worried about being alone and being able to really handle breaking up with him. The entire world revolves around them. I made the decision to wait to discuss it with him until he was nearly nine years old, about a year after his diagnosis, and ASPERGER'S AND PARTNERS: THE 98 PERCENTER I want him to help me sometimes and also to compensate for me when I cannot do it all. I don’t know if I want to discuss the ins and outs of my relationship on an open forum but please feel free to PM me. My parents are elderly and are not in good health, and that's all I have to turn to. My husband in his younger Reading this has helped me want to save my marriage. My husband and I are still in the process of getting my son special ed services, which has been a lengthy and frustrating process, to say the least. What he wants to do is known as 'LISTING'. Dec 15, 2009 · My husband has Asperger's Syndrome. And friends who they listen to. Funny thing about that, he was talking to his pie and said it was the most amazing thing that ever existed! My husband experiences his deepest and strongest emotions at (according to HIM) about 25% of my emotional capacity. Firstly I apologise if this goes on too much and also to the 13year old as my problems are way inferior to your own and I hope you get sorted I met my husband 10 years ago, a very very intellegent man whilst at work. net wrote: > > My husband didn't want to go so I went alone one time and the therapist > > said it sounded like my husband had severe intimacy problems